There is nothing I hate more than seeing people talk down on someone else’s happiness.
I recently came across a post that genuinely triggered me. It was about G Herbo’s proposal to Taina. I normally do not care much for Hollywood gossip, but this one struck a nerve. As a married woman, I was simply happy to see a Black couple take another step forward in their relationship. And yet, people could not let that joy exist on its own.
There always has to be an explanation. He only did this because. She only got that because. It feels like people are constantly trying to water down someone else’s joy, and sadly, most of what I see comes from other women. A part of me wanted to scream Proverbs out of pure frustration. When did people become so obsessed with playing God in someone else’s destiny?
I look at life as destiny, already written. That belief comes from my faith, but also from how I understand the world through physics and cause and effect. One of my biggest life lessons came from my first boyfriend. I think of him whenever I feel afraid to walk away from something.
I spent half of my twenties with him. What people would call puppy love. He was cool, intelligent, and full of depth, but he never seemed fully satisfied with me. When he finally left, I was devastated. Two months later, he was in an entirely new relationship. That broke me. I remember thinking, I gave him years of my life just for him to move on like this.
He went into the military and I held him down. I even got pregnant and sadly miscarried at six weeks. At the time, I thought we had been through so much together. How could he just move on? She was simple. We were night and day. I was heartbroken for nearly a year until I moved to Atlanta and finally started living the life I had always talked about. Glamour, lights, cameras.
One day, while sitting in prayer, something became clear. My destiny was far greater, and he simply did not fit the itinerary of where my life was headed.
That realization reminds me of my favorite quote, one J Cole introduced me to. “My heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me,” by Imam al Shafii.
The meaning is simple. You do not need to manipulate, rush, or force life. If something is truly written for you, love, provision, purpose, it will reach you, even if the path is delayed or unexpected.
When I saw women saying G Herbo only married Taina because Ari left him, that belief came rushing back. Aside from my own belief that men know exactly what they want, and that some women are simply placeholders, nothing can block what is meant for someone.
I remember my husband’s ex once shouting from the rooftops that she left him. Months later, I saw a message from her asking why he was with her for ten years and could not even give her a ring. That situation reminds me of this one. If he wanted to, he would.
I support both women. I believe both are wifey material in their own ways. But I passionately disagree with the idea that he only married Taina because he could not have Ari. Life is not a one way street. It is layered, full of lessons, timing, and growth.
I can confidently say that if it were 2019 again and I was still with my old boyfriend, and my husband walked into the room, I would leave and never look back. Many of us know exactly what we want, but we settle for what is available because it is right in front of us.
I admire the growth of everyone involved, especially in the public eye. I just wish people did not carry such scarcity mindsets, because that is really what it comes down to. If people truly wanted to be somewhere, they would.
That proposal was going to happen regardless.
I wish people would stop playing God and living in what ifs. A mature adult does not dwell there. They trust that everything unfolds in divine order. Life is a series of lessons, and yes, people stay in situations they know do not fulfill them.
Adulting, for me, was realizing that in my twenties, we both simply did not know what we were doing. But it was also learning to be grateful. Because of those experiences, I learned exactly what I wanted. And when I finally saw it in someone, it felt divine.
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